What Is Swag?

It's impossible to have a conversation with anyone these days without hearing the word "swag" at least 521,764,928 times. But what exactly is swag? I was curious so I looked it up on Dictionary.com to see what swag really means. What I discovered changed my life forever. The definition of swag is: 


"a suspended wreath, garland, drapery, or the like, fastened up at or near each end and hanging down in the middle; festoon." 



What the heck?! That's so offensive. What in the world is a festoon anyway? I don't even want to know. All this time people have been calling me a suspended drapery and I didn't even know it. That hurts. Stand up for yourself! Just say no to swag...


(By the way, I've hidden links throughout this post to videos that better help describe the words or phrases that they are listed under. For example: click on the sentence "What the heck?!" in the paragraph above.)


P.S. I just found out that swag has a different definition that means "coolness", which completely explains why everyone has been telling me "You've got swag." So completely disregard the entire post above.

Reality T.V.

So for a great deal of time now my sisters have been watching reality t.v.. I'm not talking about Jersey Shore or True Life, rather stuff like The Midget Show and I Have More Children Than Mormons Have Wives. Quite frankly, I have come to despise real lifeish shows (with the exception of the one about that dude who weighs 1000 pounds). They suck the life out of me. Let me list a few of them: Little People Big World, they're just midgets, it was cute when they sang "Lollipop Guild" on The Wizard of Oz, but do they really deserve their own show (even though I always have wanted a pet midget); Kate Plus 8, Kate and her posse of hoodlums are annoying as all get out, the entire show consists of her kids being brats and Kate griping around, this show has no appeal whatsoever; Toddlers and Tiaras, basically just a show about moms who had awful childhoods reliving their dreams through their children, which in turn causes their children to also experience awful childhoods (when watching this show you will most likely hear the words "diva", "glitter", and "glam" 100 bazillion times). The list of awful reality t.v. shows could go on forever. If you have a sibling, parent, child, or household pet that enjoys watching reality t.v., may God have mercy on your soul.

A Sad Sad Story

You woke up this morning and thought, "Hey! Today there is going to be another Fritzy and Fitzherbert Q&A video! Cool beans!". So you rushed to your computer and visited your favorite online blog, The Deliciousness. Your hopes were high, life was good. But then when you finally got onto this amazing website, you realized that alas, there was no new video. But before you come after me with pitch forks and staves(like Gaston and his posse came after the Beast), just hold your horses (both figuratively and literally), I can explain. You see, I too woke up this morning, eagerly anticipating uploading the new video. But when I looked out my window, I saw a blazing forest fire of Biblical proportions. So I did what any of you would do, I grabbed a glass of water and threw it on the blazing forest fire (I didn't throw the glass, just the water). Then, to my fright, I heard the squeals of chipmunks and the fukaws of birds, I then realized that my friends, the woodland creatures, were in grave danger. So I rushed into the  fire in search of any small birds or creatures I could find. I rescued 10 birds, 15 chipmunks, 12 squirrels, and 24 other miscellaneous varmint. But, in the midst of the inferno, I lost both hands as well as my pinky toe. Even now, I am typing this post using my tongue and eyelashes. And that's why I was not able to upload the Q&A video, I am sorry (even though I do realize it is too late to apologize... it's just too late). So forgive me if you can, and I will have the new video uploaded NEXT Thursday. So in the meantime, stay thirsty my friends.

We Are High Tech, And New Q&A Coming Next Thursday!

The British Homies are now on Facebook! Check out their page here http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-British-Homies/238171709543888?sk=wall. Also we will be having a new Q&A video this Thursday! So submit your questions below (only 3 questions per person).

Q And A!!

Our Q And A video! It's a little long, but so worth your time!

Question And Answer

Ask any question you wish, and my pal Fritzy and I will respond to each question on April 10th!
Leave your questions in the comment section below.

April Fool's Day Is For Fools!

Happy April Fools Day! Not really, because no one really likes April Fools Day. "Why don't they like it?", thank you for asking; the reason people don't like AFD..... is because it stinks. It's just a ton of meanness being done in the name of "April Fools Day". "What's fun about being fooled?", well.... I do not know. Am I missing something? I guess I just don't get what's so great about: thumb tacks in your bed, snakes in your food, whipped cream on your face, or pants on the ground (looking like an april fool with your pants on the ground) (what I just wrote in the other parentheses over there <--- was not very funny, I apologize). So please, in the comment section below, tell me what you think of this so called holiday. I'm not so convinced....

It"s Been Too Long.....

To all my fans out there (all 5 of you), I am so sorry I have not written a blog in a while. My life has been filled with fullness, and I've just been to busy to blog. But now I've got my priorities straight: blog first, school and chores later. Much has happened since my last post, which was Valentine's Day, but I shall not go into my somewhat lengthy life story. I'm sorry. So basically I will try to do better on my blogging, I'm a new person.

Valentine's day?

So as most of you know today is Valentine's day. If you did not know that, then you have no life. I hope all of y'all had a good day, but chances are some of you didn't. While some of you guys went on dates and ate delicious heart shaped candies, some of you: laid on your couch, drank milk out of a carton. and watched soap operas all day, But why? Why are half of y'all doing great, while the other half are pathetic losers (no offense)? It's because half of y'all are happy people to start with, while the other half are already miserable. Many of you choose to be unhappy. The reason no one like's some of you guys is because you don't even like yourself. So be happy! Even if you don't have a Valentine, so what? You should still be a happy person. Just be yourself. 

You just gotta ignite, the light, and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"

Sorry for ripping off Katy but oh oh oh well.  Have a great day y'all! Sorry for being a little serious in this post, but I said what must be said. Peace out!

(p.s. If being yourself doesn't work: lose weight, die your hair, get a face lift, and act like someone else.)

Does any one REALLY floss twice a day?

So  I went to the dentist the other day (dentists are just doctors who flunked medical school), and they told me I needed to floss twice a day. Who flosses twice a day!?!? INSANITY! Apparently, brushing twice a day just doesn't make the cut any more. I say we stick it to the man! That's right, floss just once a day. Be rebellious, live on the edge. I hereby declare this week Stick It To The Dentist, Floss Only Once A Day Week (Catchy name, isn't it?). Life is short kids, take some risks. Floss less, live more.
Peace out